she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
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she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
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There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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