Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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