Only a mothe r could love this liver
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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