so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Randomize
