K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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