dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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