this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I'm having to shit out rocks
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
