Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
