told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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