He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize