I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
