She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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