We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
