Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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