Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
