Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
