I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
