Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
