you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize