Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Couch. On fire.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
