Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
