you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
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She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
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I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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