she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
