So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize