Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  do you know how bad I want you right now?

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  As bad as i want you to stop texting me?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  is that a hint?

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  (630): do you know how bad I want you right now? (1-630): As bad as i want you to stop texting me? (630): is that a hint? http://tfl.nu/28x8
  Replies (11) Good night (884) Bad night (3426)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.

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  (903): I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks. http://tfl.nu/2ww3
  Replies (11) Good night (625) Bad night (2477)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher

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  (612): the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher http://tfl.nu/eecw
  Replies (26) Good night (1120) Bad night (5267)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.

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  (940): we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts. http://tfl.nu/rlkg
  Replies (64) Good night (1654) Bad night (4425)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.

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  (757): Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well. http://tfl.nu/ul8d
  Replies (12) Good night (5323) Bad night (1629)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag

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  (563): Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag http://tfl.nu/f93g
  Replies (3) Good night (2495) Bad night (1039)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary

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  (251): 2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary http://tfl.nu/6uuf
  Replies (8) Good night (1065) Bad night (1716)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.

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  (567): For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts. http://tfl.nu/swyw
  Replies (10) Good night (2172) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back

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  (912): Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back http://tfl.nu/294t
  Replies (7) Good night (2909) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.

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  (248): in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins. http://tfl.nu/5x9x
  Replies (2) Good night (606) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am

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  (586): I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am http://tfl.nu/pvzw
  Replies (4) Good night (706) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.

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  (973): So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door. http://tfl.nu/82na
  Replies (0) Good night (456) Bad night (362)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.

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  (602): Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name. http://tfl.nu/98wx
  Replies (2) Good night (661) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.

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  (731): The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar. http://tfl.nu/5po8
  Replies (2) Good night (381) Bad night (313)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober

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  (608): I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober http://tfl.nu/0uyd
  Replies (0) Good night (396) Bad night (210)

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