I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
whose parrot is this?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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