You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.