If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
A Guy Sent A Woman What May Be The Craziest Breakup Text Ever
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
28 Completely Safe For Work Pictures Of Genitals
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are