Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.

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  (847): the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker. http://tfl.nu/4drl
  Replies (13) Good night (2011) Bad night (786)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.

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  (313): i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small. http://tfl.nu/i072
  Replies (47) Good night (4337) Bad night (1064)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.

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  (289): Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that. http://tfl.nu/ostc
  Replies (64) Good night (8783) Bad night (968)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.

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  (305): You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student. http://tfl.nu/quj8
  Replies (26) Good night (10230) Bad night (824)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."

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  (507): Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk." http://tfl.nu/biax
  Replies (15) Good night (5030) Bad night (567)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.

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  (662): Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing. http://tfl.nu/08ze
  Replies (10) Good night (806) Bad night (3545)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick

  (305): View more from Florida

  I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.

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  (786): She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick (305): I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius. http://tfl.nu/szcg
  Replies (18) Good night (3972) Bad night (1617)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands

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  (617): the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands http://tfl.nu/ha5y
  Replies (15) Good night (7124) Bad night (1689)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.

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  (479): You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money. http://tfl.nu/ged1
  Replies (5) Good night (4146) Bad night (760)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.

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  (480): Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face. http://tfl.nu/gk53
  Replies (10) Good night (1145) Bad night (2354)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.

  (1-507): View more from Minnesota

  We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.

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  (507): I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies. (1-507): We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA. http://tfl.nu/9erc
  Replies (21) Good night (2481) Bad night (958)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  A BJ like that needs to be recommended.

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  (724): A BJ like that needs to be recommended. http://tfl.nu/olb7
  Replies (11) Good night (1583) Bad night (527)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop

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  (618): i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop http://tfl.nu/c36z
  Replies (0) Good night (503) Bad night (275)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.

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  (602): I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater. http://tfl.nu/ixlx
  Replies (4) Good night (677) Bad night (303)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night

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  (239): I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night http://tfl.nu/ue4h
  Replies (2) Good night (542) Bad night (257)

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