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• (214): View more from Texas

  dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!

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• (512): View more from Texas

  someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.

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• (415): View more from California

  I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  nobody was home so I boiled the dildo

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.

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• (805): View more from California

  I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony

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