Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
