I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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