my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we're making bets on your personal life
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
