how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
