dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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