And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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