If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
