Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
