East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
