This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
