I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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