Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
