it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
