just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
