He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
