On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
