so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
