I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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