drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
