one word: firstdatebathroomanal
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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