You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
