She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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