Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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