ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
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i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
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Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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