This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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