If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
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I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
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I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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