I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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