I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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