i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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