i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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