Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
