STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
