you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
