I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
