hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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