I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
